Intergalactic Terrorist (New Dimension Book 1) Page 8

  The engine powered. The thrusters fired. The ship was about to take off!

  Outside, still smashing its large metal fists into the dome-shaped electrical’s hull, X7421 was unprepared for the blast of flames and smoke that fired outwards from underneath the ship. For a second the Mechanoid stood amidst skin-melting temperatures, as the flames pressed against its metallic body. It held on as best it could but even X7421 was not strong enough.

  The Mechanoid blinked its red eyes.

  “SHIT!” it said.

  The force of the flames flung X7421 away from the electrical where it smashed into a nearby tree, splitting it in half.

  At this point it is probably best to mention the poor tree that has just lost its life (as recovering from a nasty split in half is virtually impossible). This particular tree had been alive for over five hundred years and seen many changes in its time. If the tree had any form of consciousness it would probably never have believed that it would end its days being split in half by a flying robot from another world. Instead it just stood there and thought nothing.

  Charlie was having trouble controlling the electrical as it slowly rose from the ground, the engines quivering under the weight of the huge metal ship.

  Greebol entered the main compartment and the ‘nipple’ door closed behind him.

  “You did it Charlie!” said Greebol slapping him on the back. “I knew you could do it!”

  Charlie was not so sure.

  “Lucky you pressed the correct foot pedal,” Greebol continued, “if you had pressed the left one you would have blown us both sky high!”

  Charlie once again did his best impression of a sheep. “I knew that,” he said meekly.

  The electrical rocked violently as the front began to dip towards the ground.

  “Perhaps I should take over the piloting,” said Greebol, taking hold of the steering square.

  “Thank you,” Charlie gibbered. He sat down cross-legged on the floor, his heart slowly returning to a normal speed.

  Greebol looked down at one of the small screens and tapped it with one of his large fingers. His wide mouth turned down at the corners. The area where a Human’s eyebrows should have been furrowed.

  “We have a problem,” he said slowly.

  “What’s new?” said Charlie sarcastically.

  “Many things,” said Greebol, “but only the one that concerns us right now.” He looked around the room in panic. “We have too much weight. Something is weighing us down!”

  The electrical began to dip once again. It scraped across the top of the trees. Very soon they would be in a housed area and it would scrape across the tops of those instead, causing devastating damage to the underside of the ship. Plus causing a number of extremely shocked Humans to write into ‘Bizarre Stories’.

  Charlie was worried. Was it him? Was he the cause of this extra weight on the electrical? Was it his pot belly? He knew he should work out more but going to the gym made him nervous. He found it intimidating being surrounded by muscular men. Plus mens’ shower rooms gave him the heebie jeebies. There was always some old naked man rubbing his flannel in areas that should have been covered in cobwebs. He could have always gone jogging or ridden his bicycle or even done a few star jumps at night but in honesty he was just too lazy. Even the walk to the bus stop felt too much like hard work! Now he wished he’d done more.

  “Please don’t throw me out!” Charlie begged.

  “Throw you out?” answered Greebol confused. “Oh no, you are not the extra weight Charlie. The extra weight is on the outside of the electrical! Take a peek out of the porthole!”

  Greebol pointed over to one of the round windows. Charlie quickly bounded over and took a look outside. Stretching to look down he saw the base of the electrical and there, dangling by one arm was that damn robot!

  The words ‘why won’t you die?’ sprang to mind but he found it too predictable to say out loud.

  X7421 began to climb up the side of the ship, ripping into the metal with its strong clamp-like hands. Looking down at the robot made Charlie dizzy, the ground below becoming smaller and smaller. They had passed beyond the forest now and were over the rooftops. He could see cars the size of beetles driving down the small roads.

  Dropping from this height would be very, very painful. He imagined it to be one of the more painful ways of dying. Diced in a giant blender or skinned alive and dipped in vinegar would probably be top of the list, but hitting the ground from falling from the clouds must hurt as well.

  “We have to do something!” Charlie shouted.

  Greebol looked around the room quickly, trying to think of something to do. “The window,” he said, “open the window Charlie.”

  “Open the window?” Charlie gasped, “and let it come climbing in?”

  “You will have to knock it off the side of the electrical Charlie! Open the window and throw something down at it! It is our only hope!”

  Charlie rushed to the window whilst Greebol steered the electrical. Slowly he wound it down. It reminded him of a window on an old bus. The wind blasted inside the room, almost sucking him out. He looked around in a wild panic to find something to throw. X7421 was getting closer and closer.

  Charlie grabbed the first thing he could see. It was a large tin box shaped a bit like a pig (only with six legs and really large testicles). He reached out and threw it as hard as he could at the Mechanoid's head. It bounced off, dinting the box but not moving the robot.

  “What was that?” said Greebol in shock. “My money? You just threw out my Gumtharian Piggybank of money!”

  “How was I supposed to know?”

  “Use the broom,” Greebol growled handing Charlie a large wooden broom. Charlie took it and rushed back to the window. He poked and prodded at the robot, hoping to dislodge it from its vice-like grip.

  Suddenly X7421’s hand began to spin so fast that it blurred like a drill head. It grabbed the broom and wood chippings began to fly. There was a sickening crunch. Charlie fell back into the room holding a tiny shard of wood, the rest destroyed by the robot!

  “This is it,” he said, “we’re going to die!” And he truly believed it. He actually thought that this moment was to be the moment of his death. Charlie had thought he was going to die a number of times. The time that chip got stuck down his throat and he was given the Heimlich Manoeuvre by an old lady with false teeth who smelt of cabbage. Then there was the time he got stuck in the toilet cubicle at school for the full weekend. The most embarrassing thing was that not only was he stuck in the cubicle, he was stuck in the toilet itself! It took five firemen four hours to cut him from the seat. Charlie could still hear the laughter as he was carted down the school corridor, toilet seat around his waist and thighs, his naked spotty bum hanging out the bottom.

  However in those other instances there was a part of Charlie that knew that he would survive. That feeling was not there now. Or was it? As Charlie looked at Greebol’s strange face he realised that this was not the time of his death. And he was right. For Greebol had an idea. It flashed above his head like a light bulb switching on.

  “The table!” he shouted. “Throw the table at it!”

  Charlie clenched his fist and pounded it into the air. “Yes!” he cried with joy. “That’ll get the bastard!” But as he turned to grab the table his face drooped. The large metal table was at least three times the size of the small porthole. “Erm…” he said.

  “Look in the drawer,” said Greebol.

  Charlie did as he was instructed. He opened the drawer at the side of the room as the robot began to drill into the hull of the ship, sparks and metal splinters flying. Inside the drawer it was dark. Very dark.

  “Put your hand in Charlie,” said Greebol as he tried to turn the electrical sharply, in an attempt at dislodging the Mechanoid, “you will feel a number of small round objects.”

  Sure enough Charlie felt them. The space inside the drawer was ridiculously large considering that it was only a very small drawer. It
messed with Charlie’s mind and made him go slightly dizzy. He pulled one of the small balls out and looked at it. It was made of some form of rubber that stuck to the fingers like jelly. Charlie hated jelly.

  “What am I supposed to do with this?” he asked, dreadfully aware that the Mechanoid was almost inside.

  “Stick it to the side of the table,” Greebol answered, “it is called a molecular expanded stretchy thing. It can make any item fit inside or through any other item… no matter of its size!”

  So that was how this drawer was able to contain so many objects when it was so small. It had one of these molecular expanded stretchy things inside it! Clever. Very clever.

  Charlie slapped the small rubber ball onto the side of the table, making a squelching sound like someone throwing a wet hanky, and instantly the table began to quiver as though it were not quite solid. However when Charlie grabbed the sides it was hard to the touch!

  Quickly, he picked it up, staggering from the weight. He wasn’t used to having to lift something this heavy. A quarter pound beef burger with extra cheese was about the heaviest thing he had ever had to hold. Hoisting the table onto his shoulder he stepped cautiously over to the porthole. It seemed impossible, but still he tried to push the large table through the small window.

  Before his disbelieving eyes, the table began to stretch and twist as it touched the window allowing Charlie to push it through with ease. A bit like the events that take place when going to the toilet. Charlie tried to remove that image from his mind. Soon the table was through the porthole and on the outside of the electrical where it returned to its solid form.

  Charlie let go.

  The large, heavy metal table fell.

  The Mechanoid looked up just in time for it to smash into its face. It lost its grip and, after scrambling for a moment to reattach itself, it fell! Limbs flailing, it tried desperately to grasp something. Anything. But of course in the middle of the sky, falling through the clouds, there was nothing to grasp at.

  Charlie watched from the porthole with a smug look on his face as the robot fell like a tin can, although a lot heavier and presumably not containing beans. Charlie grinned. Now he was Charlie Pinwright, robot slayer.

  “SYSTEM… FAILURE… CANNOT… FUNCTION… SENSORS… Malfunctioning…”

  X7421’s red eyes faded. Its arms, legs and head retracted back into the large metal sphere. All systems shut down. The globe fell faster and faster. The ground growing closer and closer.

  Soon the buildings below no longer looked like dolls houses and were now full scale against the Mechanoid. With an almighty crash it smashed into the roof of a certain building. A certain call centre in the city centre. A certain call centre that, during the day, contained a number of telephone operators, mindlessly answering phone calls. A certain building with a sign that read – King George’s Electrical Repairs – a cheesy grinning image of the late Geoffrey George at its side.

  The building shuddered. The building shook. Dust fell. The bricks loosened. The building caved in on itself, crumbling into nothing more than a pile of rubble.

  A final insult to the glorious and somewhat tragic life of King Geoffrey George.

  The electrical hovered above the city high up in the clouds. Greebol had finally gained control of the ship. A small screen had opened in a panel in front of the steering square, an image of the city appearing on it.

  “I wonder where that thing came from,” said the grey skinned Gumthar.

  “You seriously don’t know what it was?” said Charlie aghast.

  “I seriously do not know. I told you Charlie, there are no robots where I live.”

  “Yes I know. No robots and no Humans either. Your world must be darker for it.”

  “For not having Humans?” questioned Greebol, imperceptible eyebrow raised. “I really have not witnessed that much greatness from Humans. You are the only decent one I have come across and even you are slightly strange.”

  “True,” Charlie agreed, “but in defence of my people we have done some remarkable things. Have you ever heard of a hot dog?”

  Greebol frowned.

  The image on the screen suddenly erupted into a flash of light emitting from the remains of the call centre where the Mechanoid had just landed. Charlie rushed to the porthole and was forced to shield his eyes.

  A large mushroom cloud rose up into the sky. Waves of flames spanning out from it, stretching across the city. Buildings shattered, cars exploded, trees burned.

  The electrical was also hit by the blast. A sound like a million of those annoying rainmakers battered inside Charlie’s ears.

  Greebol grabbed the steering square and pulled upwards, hoping to pull the electrical away from the rapidly growing mushroom cloud.

  “What’s going on?” Charlie screamed. “What happened?”

  The room shook so violently that at one point it seemed Charlie stood in two places at once. He felt like a nest of moths swarmed in his head.

  “It appears to be a nuclear explosion!” Greebol shouted.

  “Nuclear?” Charlie gasped.

  Then he realised what must have happened. The Mechanoid. The Mechanoid had been powered by nuclear energy! When it had smashed on the ground it had exploded! Charlie always knew something like this would happen. Not of course that he would throw a robot from an alien world from a spaceship from another alien world causing the explosion, but something similar. Like some silly bugger lighting his fart inside a power station.

  Greebol strained so hard pulling upwards on the steering square that at least twenty veins seemed to pop out of his forehead. Plus he let off a little Tommy squeaker. Eventually, after much hard work, the electricals dome-like bulk rose upwards, heading away from the blast, upwards through the clouds and further, penetrating the Earth’s atmosphere and out into the vast cold of space.

  Charlie, ears ringing like he had bells in them, looked down at the circular image of Earth. Its immense blue oceans, its speckled landmasses, the swirls of clouds circling it. Seeing his home planet from space for the first time should have instilled Charlie with a sense of well-being. It should have inspired him and finally made him understand his life and his reason for being. However all he could see was a large red blot stretching outwards. A nuclear explosion. An explosion that he had caused.

  He slapped a hand over his face and groaned. “What have I done?” he muttered.

  “Oh it is alright,” said Greebol, patting him on the back, “you have only destroyed your city! It is not as if it was the whole planet!”

  Charlie was gob smacked. What little compassion this alien showed for life! “Only the city?” he growled. “Only the city? I have spent my entire life in that city! Everyone I know is in that city… was in that city! They’ll all be dead now… everyone I ever cared for… gone.”

  Tears welled up in his eyes as he thought of his now dead loved ones. His useless pathetic excuse of a mother. His bitch of a cheating, lying whore of an ex-girlfriend. His Turkish speaking, meat smelling, unwanted flat mates. The tears dried up.

  Still, people were gone. His city was gone. And it was all because of him.

  “Take me back,” he muttered quietly, “take me back… home.”

  “Back?” said Greebol. “Back to what? Everything you knew is gone Charlie. You have nothing left there now. Out here however… in the wonders of space… you can have anything your heart desires!”

  Charlie knew that Greebol was right. There was nothing left for him back on Earth. Yet he could not travel the stars. He was no explorer. He was no space adventurer. The joys of watching Star Trek or Star Wars or some other star titled sci-fi was enough for him. He never wanted to actually experience it. Especially not with an alien bounty hunter.

  “I want to go back,” he said at last. “I have to go back and face what I have done.”

  “I cannot get you to change your mind?”

  “Probably,” Charlie sighed, “with some sort of alien mind changing device you have hidden in tha
t giant tiny drawer of yours. But please… I beg you… if you have any sort of empathy at all… take me home.”

  The Gumthar slowly nodded his big grey head. “Alright Charlie. Alright.”

  The Human smiled. Perhaps this alien wasn’t so bad after all. He did really seem to care for him. Perhaps, behind the creature that kidnaps people, hunts people, steals peoples’ voices and liquidises people, there was a kind-hearted soul.

  As Greebol slowly began to turn the electrical around in order to head back in Earth's direction, Charlie finally came to terms with where he was. Space. He was in space! The stars twinkled brighter up here. The planets could be seen clearer. The strange golden, deadly looking light approaching them seemed fast and dangerous.

  “What the hell is that?” asked Charlie. It was a question he had asked all too many times in the last few hours.

  “That,” responded Greebol, “is the thing that made me crash on your little world in the first place. That is what we have to avoid at all cost!”

  But it was no use. The golden light was surrounding them. It was as though they had been caught in a sort of large net that was closing around them.

  “Greebol!” Charlie panicked. “Greebol you have to do something! Do something!”

  But there was nothing that could be done. The golden light closed around them. Charlie felt it surge through the electrical, through his own body.

  Then Charlie felt nothing at all.

  Chapter 10

  The galaxy is a strange and wonderful place. Everything that most believed to be true usually is a complete fabrication. Everything that people thought was a complete fabrication usually turns out to be true. A thousand realities circled the ever changing universe. Since the beginning of time things have changed, creating and destroying in the process. Removing some from everything they knew, changing others perhaps physically or mentally without them even knowing.

  Take Earth’s dinosaurs for example. It was generally believed that some dirty great big asteroid crashed into the planet wiping out the prehistoric creatures. Of course, as that is what was commonly believed, it was inevitable to be false. In fact the extinction of the dinosaurs was due to the universe changing. Everything shifted, planets swapped places, suns blinked out of existence, space itself twisted and deformed and then formed again. Unfortunately in this new version of the universe there was no place for large, dopey lizards and therefore they were wiped from the face of the Earth. Did they disappear completely or did they end up on some other world in some other area of space perhaps even in some other dimension? No one could say. Not even the dinosaurs.